There are infinitely many numbers that are flat out stupid

Kirill Novik
2 min readApr 17, 2023
Oh, hi

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to embark on a journey through the world of numbers — a world filled with, well, stupidity. Yes, you read that correctly. We’re going to prove that there are infinitely many numbers that are flat out stupid. Buckle up!

The First Stupid Number: One

Let’s start with the number one. Not only it’s the lonelies number, but also the smallest positive integer, a naïve optimist. You’d think after all the whoopings life has given it, it would learn. But no, it just keeps smiling like a puppy waiting for a treat. One is like that overly enthusiastic friend who just doesn’t get it when things go wrong. Oh, one, will you ever learn?

Doubling Down on Stupid: Two

What do you get when you add one stupid number to itself? A number that’s twice as stupid! That’s right; number two is a real piece of work. Why would you even bother adding two stupid numbers together? Get a life, folks!

Negativity Breeds Stupidity

Let’s consider the number -13. That’s a pretty stupid number, because it’s negative and there’s no reason to be negative. There’s already too much negativity in the world. We don’t need a stupid number adding to the pile. Let’s just cancel that buzzkill.

Irrationally Stupid: π (Pi)

Then there’s the number π. It’s a stupid number because it’s irrational. It pretends to be smart, but we all know it’s full of it. It’s like that guy at the party who keeps quoting Shakespeare. Enough already!

Imaginatively Stupid: i (The Square Root of -1)

And let’s not forget the number i, the square root of -1. It’s a stupid number because it’s imaginary. Why would you waste your imagination on numbers? That’s as ridiculous as making movies based on comic books. Use your imagination for something useful, people!

The Infinite Stupidity: N+1

Okay, okay, maybe at some point numbers stop being stupid. Maybe I was wrong after all. Well, let’s suppose that n is the last such stupid number. So if I add one to this stupid number… guess what? That number is still stupid! Looks like we’re stuck in an infinite loop of stupidity.

Conclusion

In conclusion, there must be infinitely many stupid numbers, and I just wasted your time talking about these ridiculous digits. Maybe I should find some friends or, better yet, start a club for people who appreciate the absurdity of numbers. Who’s with me?

--

--

Kirill Novik

Whether I shall turn out to be a hero of this book these pages must show